Courage comes in many forms. It is the bravery of the battlefield. It is the wild desperation of a horrified and frightened parent. Courage can be speaking up and speaking out. It can be applying for a hard job. Courage can be seeing your own flaws. Courage can be having that hard conversation and being open with those we love.
To me courage is the embodiment of action on feeling. Standing up. Stepping forward. Opening your heart to another by hugging or saying something. Saying sorry. It’s risk.
You risk your life. You risk being shamed; you risk rejection; you risk loss.
Let’s face it, these are real risks… but…
What happens when you don't take the risk? When you choose to hide? Chose to be armoured in your heart and hide behind a wall?
What do you lose?
You can lose the opportunity to move forward, to grow. The opportunity to connect to others can be lost. I have seen people wither due to a lack of courage.
You may wonder why am I writing about this? Deep down I am a bit timid. Yes, it’s true.
I have chosen to face the monster of fear, the troll of dread and travel these holidays with a disabled child. This to me is the bravest thing I can do right now. I have chosen to stretch myself, to be courageous despite also wanting to just sit inside and look at the view (which is gorgeous).
Why does this count? I have been pondering what it is to be courageous for a long time… years. I see people when they don't take risks… when their heart closes up. I see people that chose bitterness over forgiveness and how it wounds them. The loneliness due to losing connection because people are not brave with their heart.
I realised that if I don't start travelling with my teenager I will shrivel and die in my heart. He desperately wants to travel on trains (anywhere in the world will do!). Honestly, I cannot continue to wish to go on holidays somewhere, I need to make it happen. I need to stretch and grow one tiny piece at a time.
I realise now that there is an artificial distinction between bravery of the battlefield and bravery of the heart. I am being physically brave, but do I ever feel it in my heart other than a sense of terror! Perhaps they mirror each other. The courage to be open to someone in your heart is to risk being wounded. Without that courage I think you wither away over the years. What is the reward of Courage? It can be a "yes!"; it can be being loved deeply in return, or it can be solving a hard situation. The rewards often are immense. More than anything, I believe your heart grows bigger the more courageous you are.
Today is ANZAC day, a day of remembrance of bravery and loss. I wrote this post several weeks ago and couldn't work out if I should share it. I will share this post with you today; after being at the Dawn service this morning I realised I was right. Courage, without it there is no real growth, no protecting, no connection... It's critical to a full life.
xx Mary-Anne